As I put Olivia into a baby seat in a room of about 20 other infants I knew without a doubt that this was not the right thing for her or me. I tearfully explained her routine to the caretaker and likes/dislikes, etc and thought, "What am I doing? Am I really going to leave her here?" I then took Isabella to her room and got her settled in. She was excited to see all of the indoor play equipment and carefully observed the classroom and the other toddlers. I left as Isabella was taking her seat at the table for snack time. As I was making my way to the front door I was stopped by the owner of the center who asked if I'm going to be alright? I tried holding back the tears but it was obvious my attempt at faking that everything was fine was failing miserably. She reassured me that they would be alright and to call often. I drove off and was immediately coming up with plan B. After careful consideration and talks with Jason (who always knows the right thing to say in tough situations) we've come up with a plan that we feel good about. Olivia will be cared for by the same person who took care of Isabella and we'll continue to take Isabella to daycare twice a week and see how she likes it. As for me, I start work next Monday and am going change my status to "as needed" if that is a possibility. It's evident that even working twice a week will be difficult on the family, especially when Jason starts school.
Isabella had a great first day and didn't cry at all. The teacher said she followed right along and seemed to enjoy being there. She is a confident and independent little person and extremely social so I knew she would be fine. Now for my Olivia, it was a different experience. The teacher said Olivia did great and is a sweet baby but when we got home she had a long meltdown and was difficult to console, which is not in her nature. I know she did not get a restful nap in a room full of infants and was overstimulated by the end of the day. Of course I felt guilty, but know that I will never do that to her or any of our future children again. Live and learn.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
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2 comments:
whoa, sophia! are you just mentally exhausted right now? what tough decisions you have had to make in just a few days. i am proud of you for listening to your heart and i hope things settle down a bit and everyone gets back to normal. love you.
live and learn is so true. And just when I think I have it all down, something changes. Oh and the great thing about kids is they are so resilant and she won't even remember that horrible nap at the daycare. ((hugs)) hope you got a good night's rest.
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